


carry me to greatness somehow

by polyphobiaa



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, Sorry For the Hit, in which julia is the director and magnus is all fucked up about it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-05-18 16:57:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14856629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polyphobiaa/pseuds/polyphobiaa
Summary: "julia burnsides had been presumed dead for three years, and here she was, alive and on the moon. magnus couldn’t believe it.he had mourned. he had mourned for so long, and here she was. alive, and without telling him where she’d been. she was thriving, and for that magnus was grateful, but she had been gone, and it had hurt him so much."julia is the director of the bureau of balance. magnus has a very bad time.





	1. the moon

killian stood in front of the door. “alright, so the director is sort of… an unorthodox leader, i guess? she’s a bit of an acquired taste. you’ll see.”

“can you come in too?” asked magnus.

“yeah, homie, we’re gonna need an adult with us,” taako joked.

“nah, dude. you three are on your own. good luck in there.” she opened the door and almost pushed the three of them inside. “have fun!” she shout-whispered as she shut the door behind them.

and then they were alone with the director.

she was a tall, muscular woman with short, curly hair tied back with a bandana. her hands were calloused from years of hard work. she was wearing a crisp navy blue suit, with a brooch on the lapel that showed the insignia of the bureau of balance. she was sitting at the messiest desk any of them had ever seen, studying what looked like a worn-out letter, occasionally scribbling down a note or two. to her left was a lean woman holding a staff and dressed elegantly in silvers and blues, and to her right was a large dog, asleep on the ornate rug underneath her desk.

taako and merle had never seen her before. magnus had.

she looked up, and showed a gap-toothed smile. “welcome to the bureau of balance! we’ve been waiting!”

magnus choked back a sob.

taako waved in front of his eyes. “hey, mags? this a friend of yours?”

“what’s got you so upset?” merle asked.

“i thought you were dead,” magnus choked out.

“well, i’m here now, aren’t i?” laughed the director. “i’m sorry, maggie. i didn’t mean to leave like that.” she stood up from her desk and hugged him tight, then turned to the other two. “sorry for getting sidetracked, gentlemen! my name is julia, you can call me madame director if you want. it’s a pleasure to have you with us!" 

“who’s the lady with you?” merle asked.

“oh, her? she’s a friend.” julia turned to the woman next to her. “do you want me to use your name, or are we still on the anonymity thing?”

“i’d rather you use a title,” said the woman, nodding.

“all right, a title it is!” again, she turned back around to the three of them. “gentlemen, this is the scrivener. she’s… well, she and davenport are the help around here, but god knows where he got off to.” she looked around, then glanced back at her desk. “i have a little bit of work to do before i can give you all the formal tour, but it should only take a minute. you all can hang out with oscar while you wait, alright?” she motioned to the sleeping dog on the rug. “he’s a real sweetheart, don’t worry. i’ll get right back to you all!” she plopped down at her desk again and began furiously scribbling on the parchment in front of her.  
julia burnsides had been presumed dead for three years, and here she was, alive and on the moon. magnus couldn’t believe it.

he had mourned. he had mourned for so long, and here she was. alive, and without telling him where she’d been. she was thriving, and for that magnus was grateful, but she had been gone, and it had hurt him so much.

and here she was.

it was everything he wanted - she was happy, she was safe, she was alive. he hadn’t failed her, he hadn’t let her die.  
and yet he was still hurt.

he couldn’t pin down why, and that upset him. it was selfish, wasn’t it, to be this upset about it. selfish to think that it was out of bad intent that she didn’t tell him where she was. it couldn’t have been. he knew that. but that didn’t stop it from feeling bad.

maybe it was that she hadn’t said anything, or maybe it was that the rest of ravens roost was still dead - collapsed, unsaveable, he had still failed them. maybe it was about her father, steven, still long gone no matter how safe julia was. and maybe it was that she had the gall to be so damn happy.

but magnus was hurt, and he shouldn’t have been, and in the moment, that was all that mattered.

***

julia had a letter.

she knew it was hers, because it wasn’t addressed to her father or her husband or “the burnsides estate”, and it was held in a navy blue envelope with elegant silver trim. those letters were only ever for her. sometimes they carried messages for others, but they were only for her eyes.

she always opened the letters where nobody could look over her shoulder. her husband, love him as she would, tended to pry, and her father wouldn’t ever leave her be if he knew. she had been asked to keep them a secret.

and she did.

the letter was written in a looping scrawl, nearly unreadable to anyone who hadn’t been receiving these letters for so long. julia knew what it said before she even opened it, recognized the frantic way it was written as a call to action.

she took a closer look.

“julia,” it began, “i don’t have very long to write this. a lot has happened since we spoke. i know i’ve told you some of what i’ve been doing, but now is the time for you to know more. world-altering events are about to be put into motion, and i need your help.”

the rest of the letter was nothing but busywork. scheduling. a meeting place. julia didn’t have the time to write back, much less feel the need to.

all she had to do was wait patiently for a signal.

she had someone to meet.

***

the bureau of balance was still.

it was late - late enough that the time didn’t really matter, and magnus was staring at the ceiling.

he wasn’t going to be able to sleep for a while, and he knew that. he knew himself, and he knew on restless nights, there wasn’t much to be done except stay awake.

he decided to go for a walk.

as he breathed in the crisp lunar air of the quad, he stopped to look up at the sky. there was the other moon, closer now than he had ever seen it before. every rock and divot and crater was visible from here, and he spent a while looking over them all. 

he kept walking - across the quad, past a few shiny domes he didn’t bother to look at, past the fantasy costco with its blinking lights and muffled jingle playing in the distance. past the brig, past the port, and past the voidfish’s tower, pausing only to bathe in the faint swirling light from its tank at the very top.  
he walked for a long time before reaching the director’s throne room.

he sat down at the door outside it and stared up at the sky. what was he trying to do? he couldn’t tell. but he wanted to be here, and there he was. leaning against the wall of the director’s office, looking up at the stars, while she was off somewhere, probably asleep.

and probably content where she was.

and from that thought boiled up the same feeling again, resentment or self-loathing or maybe a conglomeration of a few of those things, and maybe none of them at all. how dare she be this happy, how dare he be this sad, how dare this world keep spinning when he was drowning in everything around him.

and how dare he wish it would stop for him.

and inside the same building he was leaning on, the scrivener was pacing the floor, and the director had her face buried in both her hands, and neither one was content.

“argh. fuck!” julia sat up and kicked the ground. “shit! what the hell! what was i thinking? what a dumbass, shit, lucy, i made a mistake.”

“in what way?” asked the scrivener.

“i fucked up. that’s what i shouldn’t have done, that’s the number one big no on our modus operandi. don’t fuck up, julia.” she slouched over again. “and i did anyways.”

the scrivener laughed a bit, then stopped as if seeing it was insensitive only after the fact. “you did fine,” she reaffirmed. “i’m sure i couldn’t have done much better myself.”

julia slumped back in her chair. “yeah, but you’re like, all poised and leaderly all the time? and i’ve done nothing but smile and act like i know what i’m doing, and i clearly don’t. and maggie’s all fucked up ‘cuz he saw me, i know it. i know magnus, and i know how he operates. seeing me broke something, i shouldn’t have done this!”

julia sighed. “it’s just…” she glanced around, as if watching for listening ears. “it’s just that you all have this crazy magical thing going on, and you all are the saviors of the universe or whatever. you have, like, a cause, and this whole story, and some big nutso destiny or something. and i’m just julia, the lady you recruited to run your secret society because you didn’t trust yourself to do it alone.” she paused. “well, not alone alone. you would have davenport either way. but that’s beside the point.” she untied her bandana and ran her hands through her hair. “you all are so special,” she whispered, “and i’m just a face in the crowd.”

she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see the scrivener, smiling gently down at her. “i understand,” she said softly. “really, i do. i promise you, you’re so much more important than you know. to me, and to magnus, and to everyone here.”

julia took a deep, shaky breath.

“okay,” she said. “okay.” she stood up and dusted herself off. “thanks, lucy,” she said. “i need to get some sleep. i’ll sort all this out in the morning. g’night.”

“good night,” said the scrivener, and julia burnsides, director of the bureau of balance, trudged off to her room.


	2. old times

magnus woke up slouched against a building and panicked for a few seconds before remembering how he got there.

then he realized he should probably get some food, and then he realized he didn’t actually remember which dome the cafeteria was in. 

“they all look the same,” he mumbled to himself. “shitty design, jules.” he laughed a little at that. not that she heard him, but he felt he needed to poke fun at her. it was like old times.

old times were comforting to magnus.

magnus finally found the cafeteria, only to discover it was empty, save for killian and a dragonborn he’d never met joking with each other in the corner. the dragonborn was making emphatic, excited motions as if she was telling some sort of convoluted story, and killian had her head tilted back in laughter.

magnus walked up to the two of them, and the dragonborn dropped a fork in surprise.

“holy shit,” she said, “you are the loudest motherfucker i have ever heard. you were just walking over to us, how is that even possible. i’m a fan. i’m carey, what’s your handle?” she reached out her hand as if to shake his, and he took it.

“magnus,” he said with a grin.

“magnus,” carey repeated. “dope. i was just telling killian about the time i almost robbed a bank, this is killian by the way, d’ya wanna listen in? have a seat ‘round the old campfire?”

“sure,” magnus shrugged and plopped down next to killian. 

carey immediately launched back into her escapades. “so, i’m standing there, militia a few feet behind me at most, twelve bottles of hot sauce and a paper clip in tow, and i figure, this is the end, right, because all i have is this stuff and that won’t do me any good ‘till i’m in the vault…”

***

julia was sprinting through the desert, tears streaking her face, searching anxiously for a sign. she found it almost immediately, and she ducked behind some rocks.

there stood lucretia.

julia saw her, and she hugged her tight, and she breathed heavily into her shoulder. and lucretia stiffened, and julia let go, wracked with heaving sobs. 

lucretia sighed. “i’m so sorry,” she whispered. “i didn’t want this to be how it happened, i swear. but we have matters that need attending to.”

julia took a deep, shaky breath.

“there will be time for grief in a moment,” said lucretia. “but i have gifts for you, and we have a ride to catch.”

julia felt something pressed into her palm, and she opened her eyes to see what it was.

two little bottles of a swirling black liquid, and a shining silver brooch, emblazoned with the insignia of the bureau of balance.

“madame director,” lucretia nodded. “you have a lot to learn.”

***

magnus took another swing at a bag of sand, which made a satisfying “thud”, but not a lot of movement. carey sat behind him, kicking her legs back and forth on a bench.

“you’re really just goin’ to town on those things, huh?” she laughed. “they’re not gonna move much, it’s sand. i hope you realize that.”

“yeah, i know,” said magnus. “why are you telling me?”

“‘cause the first time anyone uses one, they always wanna make it swing to the ceiling like in movies. and that’s not happening and has never happened to anyone, probably ever.” she got up and stretched a bit before walking over to him. “anyways, your stance is shit.”

“what?”

“your stance, magnus.” she put two hands on his shoulders and pulled him up. “you’re all hunched over, like you’re blocking. the bag isn’t gonna hit you back. straighten up and try again.”

magnus straightened his back and threw another punch. “i don’t… see a difference?” he turned to carey, as if asking her to explain.

“you don’t notice one, sure, but it’s better. i swear.” carey nodded to reaffirm her own statement.

“suure,” magnus laughed and kept throwing punches.

he went for a little longer before carey said, “hey, you’ve been goin’ at this bad boy for… a while. you wanna take a water break?” magnus nodded. carey ushered him over to a bench on the side of the training facility, then sat down on top of a trash can and opened her water bottle with her teeth. “so,” she said. “are you, like… good?”

“what do you mean?” magnus asked.

“you’re just, like… spacey.”

“i’m always spacey.”

“well, i know that, but you’re more spacey than usual. like, i’m out here trying to show you how to do a hit good and stuff, and you’re all yeah ok i get it, but do you really? do you really get it, magnus?”

“i think i get it.”

they were both silent for a moment.

carey patted magnus on the shoulder. “listen, big guy, if you ever need to talk to someone, i’m here, all right?”

“yeah,” magnus said. “i’ll keep it in mind. thanks.”

“it’s no problem,” carey said. she jumped off the trash can and clapped her hands together. “all right!” she shouted, back to her cheerful demeanor. “that’s probably enough training for today. magnus, you’ve been rad, this has been great, go home, get some rest, clear eyes full sports have fun!!!” on those last words she spun, her voice echoing off the walls of the training facility. magnus laughed.

“see ya later, carey,” he said and headed out.

***

“so…” julia fiddled with the cuffs of her suit, then turned up to lucretia. “what’s the plan?”

“what do you mean?” asked lucretia.

“like, the plan. they’re here, they work for us, we have a whole team of dedicated employees…” she took a deep breath. “so, now what?”

“now we collect the grand relics, we talked about this.”

“no, i know that part, but what do we do now? triangulate relics? do managerial duties? fuck around and waste time? do we sit around and pretend we’re fine until the apocalypse rears its ugly head?”

lucretia took a deep breath - in from her nose, out from her mouth. “julia,” she began, “you just have to help in any way you can, all right? there’s nothing you can do to go out and get them yourself. you have to stay here, you have to be here, this is the only way you can help him - help us do the right thing.”

no response.

julia was staring at the ground of her office. she inhaled a deep, shaky sigh, then let it out and leaned back to stare up at the ceiling before turning to lucretia again. “so… any news?”

lucretia smiled a little. “actually, we might have a lead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter two, baybee!!! sorry for the long wait with this, im working on this story super sporadically which is why its taking so long. again, my deepest apologies for the hit. i'll fix it, i promise.
> 
> also, carey's here! we love a good fangbattle.

**Author's Note:**

> holy shit here it is!!! spurred on by the tfw discord, this is the director julia fic. i hope you all like it!!!!


End file.
